I strongly believe we follow the same patterns with whoever gets in the way. Whether it’s partners or friends, acquaintances or relatives, we establish patterns and repeat them unconsciously. What is mine? This is something I am currently trying to find out, or at least, know where it comes from… Why the eagerness for protection? That’s my role: protecting.
I just met you and I already consider your problems as my own. If you’re younger, I’ll protect you. If you’re older, I’ll do do too. And if you’re more immature, even better! Because I’ll take over your dilemmas, your insecurities, your worries… as if my own were not enough! This protection thing is not as attractive as it may seem… but here I stand. Nobody calls me to thank me for it. I mean, why would they do so if they never asked for help in the first place?
Maybe I just feel useful this way, maybe I feel happy because I’m giving the best of me. Just maybe! Where this comes from and where this is going is exactly what I’m trying to find out.
This is the reason why, after having protected so many, I have forgotten how to protect myself… or let others do the hard work.